A year in movies 2016: The Ups, the Downs and the “Why did I do that to myself?!” – The Chairman’s View

The frankly crazy year of 2016 is almost beyond us, here is the way that I saw movies this year. With its ups, downs and & whys.

UPS

Comic Books Movies

It was a great year for the genre, entertaining while dividing people at the same time (that can be a good thing sometimes). The movies I enjoyed this year:

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Extended Cut) – my most anticipate movie of 2016, had flaws but still enjoyed it.

X-Men: Age of Apocalypse – This truly surprised me, a must watch if you haven’t seen it.

Captain America: Civil War – SPIDEY! Nuf said

Doctor Strange – Sherlock really got his hands f***ed up for this movie, loved the sharp wit.

Deadpool – Ryan Reynold playing the character made for him in every way.

Seems like the colon (:) made a huge comeback this year.

BvS.jpg
“I said Martha asshole, now get your boot off my throat”

Animation

With the advances in technology, so has the animated film industry moved with the times. The movies I enjoyed this year:

Moana – A Disney sing-along with a deep story, for all ages.

Zootopia/Zootroplis – This buddy cop movie with great voice work will keep everyone entertained.

Sing – Now I actually thought this would be utter rubbish, but I came out smiling. Not that deep, but good.

The Jungle Book – Yes, this qualifies as animation even though it look so so real. Wow!

Secret Life of Pets – Toy Story formula, but adequate.

Angry Birds – The app to movie adaption that give a few pointers to the video game movies out there.

Moana.jpg
“Spot on for my amazement this year”

Other Highlights

Arrival – The best movie I saw in 2016, blew my mind then went back in time and blew it again. Finally a strong female lead.

The Nice Guys – Shane Black doing a Shane Black film is a winning formula, especially with Ryan Gosling & Russell Crowe (yes, he is back!).

Bridget Jones’ Baby – Here me out people, this movie was fantastic. English humour at its best.

13 Hours – Michael Bay can actually be involved in the making of a good movie, who knew.

Star Trek Beyond – Still loving the vision of this new universe, thanks JJ.

Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them – More HP themed movies please!

War Dogs – Rule: Never trust the gun fairy waving money in your face, just walk away. Enjoyable “biopic”.

Queen of Katwe – Just loved this sport movie set in Africa against the setting of abject poverty (bring the tissues).

Arrival.jpg
“My expression after seeing Arrival”

DOWNS

These movies don’t deserve their own breakdowns into categories, just don’t see it. The movies I disliked this year:

Warcraft – A beautifully filmed turd, is still that….a turd. Such lost potential.

The Huntsman Winter’s War – Still not sure how you mess up a movie with Chris Hemsworth, Jessica Chastain, Emily Blunt & Charlize Theron but well done for proving me wrong.

Suicide Squad –  The movie illustration of studio executives panic buying in the last hour of the transfer window (English Football reference).

Ghostbusters – While I didn’t hate it, it left a stain on your childhood memories.

Jason Bourne – Well done on this trick, bring back Greengrass & Damon and get me all hyped up just to go….“POOF”….we lied, it’s shit.

Ben-Hur – The sequel that no one asked for and was disappointing, should we be surprised?

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back – I shouldn’t have gone to see it, but I had hope (crying in a corner).

But 2016 sure did have a few stinkers, but here’s holding out hope for 2017.

Suicide Squad.jpg
“The metaphorical shooting down of this movie”

Why did I do that to myself?!”

Finally, my most humiliating moment of 2016. I paid to go see this movie, and walked out of it saying “that wasn’t so bad”…..and I describe what happened next as internal bleeding after a gunshot to the chest, the movie got progressively worse to me each day that past even making question myself (out loud) until eventually I said that is the worst thing I have seen this year or for last few years and me saying “why did I do that to myself?!”.

And the winner is (drum roll)……GODS OF EGYPT, this movie can actually just go kill itself….DIE! DIE! DIE! I hate you!!

gods-of-egypt.jpg
“Yes, I am Egyptian! (strong Scottish accent)”

Disclaimer: If your favourite/worst movie doesn’t appear on this list, The Chairman probably didn’t see it. He is but a mortal man with only two eyes. If you disagree with The Chairman, you are probably wrong and have to take a hard long look at yourself in the mirror.

2 comments

  1. Thank you for your review of God’s of Egypt, as I avoided this like the plague. Nothing hurts more than losing two hours of eyesight that you can never get back.

    Comic book movies – Serious genre fatigue but I did enjoy Deadpool which was awesome. However, can we please get different actors for different superheros? I am tired of actors playing several heroes because my belief is shaken when you were already the Green Lantern. Ditto for Captain America/Human Torch or Batman/Daredevil etc

    Bridget Jones – UTTER SHIT, and possibly the worst rom-com plot. No two guys would ever wait for the birth to have a paternity test and then still be around after the birth when the father is confirmed. Also, if Bridget is 43 then she is the oldest 43 year old I have ever seen. Rene Zelwegger looked closer to 53.

    War dogs and 13 hours – Totally agree, two of the best movies of 2017.

    Movies under “downs” – mostly avoided thanks to this blog, so again, thank you. Jack Reacher I went out of my way to see as I read the book. Definitely not as good as the 1st movie but not terrible, I thought it was OK.

    I think my only addition would be to add Magnificent Seven under highlights, thought it was awesome.

    Cheers

    Liked by 1 person

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