It’s been nearly two years since Superman’s (Henry Cavill) colossal battle with Zod (Michael Shannon) devastated the city of Metropolis. The loss of life and collateral damage left many feeling angry and helpless, including crime-fighting billionaire Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck).

Convinced that Superman is now a threat to humanity, Batman embarks on a personal vendetta to end his reign on Earth, while the conniving Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) launches his own crusade against the Man of Steel.

 

Reviews

“That Nomad Shad” – In the true spirit of the film, I will write it out in the spirit of the film. It is important to note that I’m a huge Batman fan.

Pros:

• Ben Affleck was AMAZING as Bruce Wayne/Batman. The cruel Bat is back!
• Batman actually preparing for a fight!
• Jeremy Irons plays a great Alfred.
• Really great to see Wonder Woman on screen.
• DOOMSDAY!

Cons:

• Too Long. Could have shaved off half an hour off the film.
• Lois Lane is an idiot of astronomical proportions. She is the weakest character in the film.
• Certain scenes felt misplaced, overdrawn, and unnecessary.
• The first two thirds of the film felt like a mess.
• Plot holes….plot holes like Swiss cheese.

The film had me feeling a little disappointed in the end. I felt like it lacked cohesion in the build up to the fight. Lots of inconsistencies and plot holes ultimately left me feeling disappointed by the experience. I do think that the film was harshly bashed by some critics.

“Pro Prok” – Sigh…I am a comic book fan. Admittedly, I happen to be a Marvel fanboy, but DC tickles my fanboy bone too (Insert Creepy McCreepster Smiley Face here).

And how could they not, they own two of the most iconic brands in comic book history.

What could ever possibly go wrong if you brought these two Titans of pop culture together, in a live action spectacle, meant to WOW the pants off of the World, WITH FISTICUFFS? [I honestly wouldn’t have even stopped at my pants (Insert Creepy McCreepster Smiley Face here)].

Zack Snyder. Zack Snyder is the answer to that question. Zach Snyder is what went wrong. (And when Zack Snyder goes wrong, man does he not half ass it. He whole asses it. These brackets contain the word ass too many times). I really wanted this movie to work.

I think that the Comic Book Cinematic Industry as a whole needed it to. “But why Mr. el Proktor, why?”, you  may ask. I’ll tell you why little boy/girl fan-person (who exists solely in my mind as a plot device). Competition is why. Competition is a wondrous thing for the consumer (and that’s us. Yay us!).

It forces everyone in the game to up their game (but not like that one rap guy from Compton or HHH), take risks, and break barriers and boundaries. Or risk becoming irrelevant. Competition is why the WWE’s attitude era was so successful (at least for many little boys and some girls in the late 90’s early 00’s).

I also wanted this movie to work because I am a fan, and any Facebook algorithm would recommend that I should. Man of Steel had many people divided, and I am on the side of people defending it. It gets so lonely on this side sometimes you guys. Please send aid (just don’t send Zach Snyder).

This has, so far, not technically been a great review of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. But then again, it’s a KAK movie in my opinion so fuqit (I’ll do it live, FUQIT!).

How could the man behind 300 and Watchmen (and even Man of Steel, which I actually enjoyed) put out this joyless, polished and expensive turd and expect us to eagerly devour it…And then I remembered Sucker Punch [Loud, flashy, pretty to look at (at times); but ultimately devoid of any real life].

So then:

Stuff Happens, two thirds of the movie is a collection of (very serious, and not to be joked with) non-cohesive scenes, cobbled together with piss poor editing and Then They Fight (Yay! pretty effects/explosions, Batman is batmaning and Oh wow, Gal Gadot is hot).

Then the end credits roll and now I has a massive Doomsday Sized Sad. A joyless, polished and expensive TURD is still just a piece of SHIT. This is one comic book movie that will not be in my collection to watch again one day.

I give it a rousing 2 bowel movements out of a ‘I has a sad now’ 😦

(Also, can’t believe I got away with two whole Wrestling References) – el Proktor

“The Chairman” – The time has come for DC’s big guns to meet on the big screen for the first time, and does it live up to the hype?

Well, mostly for me. It’s by no means an awful or excellent movie, and it is clear that the studio tried to jam too many ideas and cameos into a movie that’s main focus should’ve stayed between Batman and Superman.

There promising signs for DC universe here, Ben Affleck as probably the best Batman/Bruce Wayne we have ever seen, Jeremy Irons as Alfred (wow, what an amazing performance), Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman not everyone’s choice but she holds her own and Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor (hear me out) he fully committed to this version of a character, who in all honesty has never been properly portrayed in any movie and I dare someone to pick a better movie Lex Luthor. There is an excellent character study here of various personalities and how the introduction of a God-like character changes the human psyche.

Zach Snyder once again brings the comic book to life, however, on first viewing the story is told in a rather clunky fashion.

If you leave cinema with one thought, it should be that DC is taking a firm stance on their vision for this universe and there in no turning back now…maybe bring George Miller in for Justice League. This should definitely be seen in a cinema and judge it for yourself. 7.5/10

Well that was Part 1 of our review for this epic film, give us your thoughts and share with your friends.