Split – “What a twist!”

While the mental divisions of those with dissociative identity disorder have long fascinated and eluded science, it is believed that some can also manifest unique physical attributes for each personality, a cognitive and physiological prism within a single being.

Though Kevin has evidenced 23 personalities to his trusted psychiatrist, Dr. Fletcher, there remains one still submerged who is set to materialize and dominate all the others. Compelled to abduct three teenage girls led by the willful, observant Casey, Kevin reaches a war for survival among all of those contained within him – as well as everyone around him – as the walls between his compartments shatter apart.



That Nomad Shad – January…a barren wasteland on the film release schedule. Filled with trashy attempts to keep Nicolas Cage relevant, awful end-of-summer kids films, and films that are forced to be released because the studio has spent too much money on the damn thing.  Enter the latest film by M.Night Shyamalan…


Yes Kevin, that was my initial reaction too. After a heartbreaking fall from grace, I just can’t trust Shyamalan any longer…hurt


Lady in the Water, The Last Airbender, The Happening, and After Earth. No…No more. I’m not strong enough…dean

So where does Split leave us? Will it ruin my perception of James McAvoy?



Well, this is my formal apology to M.Night Shyamalan.


Split is absolutely phenomenal. It’s contained, dark, suspenseful, and keeps you on the edge of your seat. it reminded me of his earlier work like Unbreakable, and the Six Sense.

James McAvoy nails the characters he plays. Each individual identity is unique. They come with their own set of unique mannerisms and accent. It’s both stunning and terrifying. The Mac pulls it off so effortlessly. It’s honestly, one of the best performances I’ve seen in years.


Split also has some beautiful cinematography. It’s claustrophobic and contained, it feels like you’re in a cage. The use of mise en scène is really draws out the personalities that reside within Kevin’s painting a much darker story of what is really at play.

Today is not a day of looking at Shyamalan’s mistake, but a celebration of his return to form. In honour of this I will not look at the faults with the film. This is because I’m lazy and because there are too few of them.


Split is a must watch for 2017. I give it a plot twist out of Shyamalan’s current career trajectory.



El Proktor – I FUCKING HATE writer/director/terrible regular cameo actor M. Night Shyamalan.

It’s the kind of hate that stems from love and then eventual heartbreak over broken promises (multiplied by many years of completely KAK and STOF movies). The last time I enjoyed an M. Night joint, Mr. Video still mostly rented out VHS’s! (Kids if you’re confused by these terms, go ask your folks about what a VHS is. Also ask about Mr. Video and ‘renting’)

This is how we used to watch shit
This is how we used to watch shit

For YEARS I’ve wanted to enquire into the state of Mr Shamili-shamili-shamili’s mental health. BECAUSE HE HAD TO BE JAS TO MAKE THE KAK HE MADE AFTER UNBREAKABLE! And oh what pointless and boring KAK it was. Yet Hollywood just kept on giving him money to produce more of said KAK. It got so bad that they even stopped name dropping him in trailers (OF HIS OWN SHIT). I learnt how trailers LIE from this dude. And as an Avatar fan (the regular animated kind, not the CGI animated blue kind) don’t even get me started on how this dick ruins beloved franchises.

This hurts me physically (WITH EMOTIONS!)
This hurts me physically (WITH EMOTIONS!)


I remember that last good M. Night movie so fondly. Samuel ‘MOTHERFUCKING’ L. Jackson played a disabled bad ass appearing at the end credits with an eye patch and a leather jacket… Wait shit that was Iron Man…


Pooping with EXCITE!
Pooping with EXCITE!

No, the last time I enjoyed a Shamalamalam movie, a super buff John McClane kicked some Crippled-Comic-Book-Nerd-Sam-Jackson Ass (with stern looks of disappointment and no actual punches. It’s wrong to physically beat up disabled people kids, so just do it with EMOTIONS)


And then I experienced Split.

  1. Night Shamalopolypse is not so bad you guys…

I have long held onto the notion that a good M Night Shamalama-ding-dong movie should have three things:

  • A low budget (stop giving this asshole so much money please)
  • One to Two well known actors (who can act the shit out of a role/roles)
  • A good-ass plot (as opposed to a good ass-plot) that focuses on and unpacks something that should be mundane/regular/normal but becomes awesome and supernatural (due to a good-ass plot)

And this is why I enjoyed Split so much. The story is contained and focused, unpacking issues of Mental Health and Abuse (Which then descends into some top notch thriller). Professor X’s performance is something to behold, and then be in AWE of. Seriously, the nuance and brilliance in his portrayal of half the movie’s cast is something special. They even gave Shamalama-on-form a low budget, forcing him to creatively produce some good shit (Some beautiful and haunting cinematography in this one).

So I urge anyone who used to be a fan of M Night Shyamalan (because once upon a time he was fan worthy) to go watch Split. Great performances, enjoyable and thrilling storytelling, and some great direction make it a must see. I give Split “Multiple Personalities“/”An enjoyable Twist”.

Ramz – 


M.Night Shalamalamadingdong is back to old form. Split is a tight thriller that has you on the edge of your seat, wondering and waiting for the next chill to run up your spine.

The film is brilliantly directed, the story is masterfully told and the character backstories are effortlessly woven into the creepy scenario that you find yourself in with the victims.

The main credit goes to James McAvoy who was given the role of a lifetime. Whenever anyone doubted his acting ability, I always told them to watch Filth. I now tell them to watch Split. The subtlety in the performance he brings to every personality is borderline supernatural. For most of the film I forgot that I was watching James McAvoy, I only saw the different characters he portrayed.

Thank you M. Night Assalamualaikum for giving us an opportunity to see James McAvoy flex his acting muscles.

I will not say anything more about the film because I want you to enjoy every moment, like I did, without any hint of what’s to come.

M.Night Salivatingly-Creepy-Good / 10

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