The Dark Tower – “Somewhere between BLAND & BORING”

Roland Deschain (Idris Elba), the last Gunslinger, is locked in an eternal battle with Walter O’Dim (Matthew McConaughey), also known as the Man in Black.

The Gunslinger must prevent the Man in Black from toppling the Dark Tower, the key that holds the universe together. With the fate of worlds at stake, two men collide in the ultimate battle between good and evil.


“The Chairman” – Well well, I need to prefix this review by telling the fans of the book to cool their jets and take a chill pill every so often. My rating for this movie is 6/10, strange to get my rating so soon? You are going to understand the reason for that shortly.

The Dark Tower is an average movie with few highlights to speak about. I personally enjoyed Matthew McConaughey’s performance. He seemed to commit completely to his devil-like character, but that performance was meant for another far better movie.


There isn’t enough world building for the audience to care about any of the “good guys”, like you might actually dislike them and might start rooting for “Devil”. In trying to appeal to a wider audience they seemed to miss the mark a bit. This is meant for an audience between the age of 9-13. The South African actor acquitted themselves well here, no accents were jarring or out of place, a shout out for BARKER HAINES!

Now to the reason for my rating appearing so early in the review, fans of the book series need to avoid this movie. They seems to be far too sensitive for their precious childhood memories. I haven’t heard such bitching and moaning after a movie, get the hell over it. The film is ok, not good, not bad, just OK. Books are one medium and tell a story in its own way, and film is a completely different medium this needs to be understood.

Save the hate for shit movies like SONG TO SONG, utter kak that’s getting better word-of-mouth than The Dark Tower. The absolutists view to film trending at the moment is a dangerous place to be, it leaves the average movie-goer confused and pushes them to watch things like FAST & FURIOUS and treat it like masterpiece theatre cause you know (sic) it’s supposed to bad. What the hell?

Has The Chairman finally lost it? Comment below and let us know!


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