The Magnificent 7 – “Member Berries”

Looking to mine for gold, greedy industrialist Bartholomew Bogue seizes control of the Old West town of Rose Creek. With their lives in jeopardy, Emma Cullen and other desperate residents turn to bounty hunter Sam Chisolm (Denzel Washington) for help.

Chisolm recruits an eclectic group of gunslingers to take on Bogue and his ruthless henchmen. With a deadly showdown on the horizon, the seven mercenaries soon find themselves fighting for more than just money once the bullets start to fly.


“Ramz” – Being a huge fan of the original Western, I had my doubts about this film. For the purposes of this review I will refer to the Magnificent Seven starring Yul Brynner and the Great Steve McQueen as “The Original Western”. The original western was a remake of the Japanese classic, Seven Samurai, which spawned an amazing 90’s series and several other great films like A Bug’s Life. Our latest Magnificent Seven seems to be a new version of the film and not so much a remake of the Original Western. I suppose it’s a remake of a remake of a remake.


I enjoyed this film. It was a fun cowboy flick with all the clichés in the right places and lots of humour to balance the serious topics.

The strength of the film lies in its great ensemble cast. Now, nobody can produce the cool that Steve McQueen brought to the screen when he played Vin Tanner in the original western and it doesn’t have the weight of names like Charles Bronson, Yul Brynner, Eli Wallach and James Coburn…but it has Denzel. I’m not the biggest Denzel fan but the other 99.9999% of the human race will watch this film simply because Mr Washington’s name is on the movie poster, and you will not be disappointed.

Thanks bruh
Thanks bruh

Great ensemble cast? What makes it great?

The lesser known actors deliver awesome combination jabs and the heavyweights bring the pain with punches that only they can deliver.


We have Denzel, strutting his stuff like they resurrected him from Training Day.

Ethan Hawke, joining the Training Day alumni with his Paul-Rudd-like charm.

Peter Sarsgaard, playing the villain to perfection…because he pretty much looks like a villain and has the smugness reserved for British men judging reality singing competitions.

Chris Pratt (ladies have told me I’m not allowed to call him the chubby guy from Parks & Rec anymore), playing Star Lord once again but this time with a cowboy hat.

Vincent D’onforio is Vincent D’onforio, we love this guy.

Honourable mentions:

  • The Native American Guy
  • The Mexican Guy
  • That Korean Guy who always plays a Japanese Guy


I love Westerns. I enjoyed this movie and I nearly jumped out of my seat with happiness when they included the original western’s theme music.

Rating:  an almost magnificent 7/10

“Vintage Vixen” – I’ll be honest: I went into this with absolutely no expectations and a mild inclination to watch it, not knowing much about the original movie/series or the Japanese epic it was based on, and I’m glad, because I was pleasantly surprised. I am not really a fan of your typical guns- blazing-main-street-shoot-out, but I really enjoyed this film. I attribute it mainly to the good doses of wit used throughout the movie (mostly thanks to Chris Pratt’s special brand of humour) and the gripping action scenes. The quips really had me sniggering in my seat.

When I heard Hollywood’s favourite fearless black man, Denzel, would be leading this pack of gunslingers, I’ll admit I kind of found it hard to believe. I’d never seen him in a film like this before, but I think he killed it – especially in the church scene at the end.

Peter Sarsgaard was especially good (but then again, no one plays a seedy, corrupt sleazeball better than he) and the part by Vincent D’Onofrio reminded me of what a versatile actor he can be (spastic cockroach man, klutzy army private and socially awkward detective, to name a few good roles). Okay, yes, you got me… I may have a soft spot for the man.

One of my favourite parts of movies like this is the ‘recruiting’ bit, where the leader in the scenario has to go on a mission to find members for his squadron, and more often than not he has do deal with one or two arrogant, difficult men who have a penchant for the bottle (enter Chris Pratt’s character, Josh Farraday), but turn out to be a lovable, invaluable asset in the end. I liked the inclusion of the Comanche warrior (how believable that is, I don’t know, but still pretty badass) as well as the impossibly cool Asian assassin Billy Rocks.

The actions scenes… oh, the action scenes. I’m not one to get all riled up for some bloody shooting and over-the-top explosions, but man, this movie delivered on that – and with style. And let’s be real, for director Antoine Fuqua not to have amped up the action for a western like this would just be plain embarrassing.

Although the role of Emma Cullen might have been brought in just to appease the feminists among us, I felt her performance was a bit dull. Maybe it was the actress who just didn’t do it for me. But I feel like, as an outside member of the Magnificent Seven squad, she would have more of a gutsy role. But this isn’t Mad Max, and she isn’t Charlize.

All in all, if you’re down for some impressing fight choreography, hints of bromance, memorable one-liners and the beautiful, stark landscapes of the Wild West, this is your best bet.

Rating: 7/10

Ironic that it got 7 out of 10 from both reviewers…

Let us know what you thought of the movie!

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